The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.
God gives parents two major tools whereby they may train a child in wisdom: the rod and reproof. If you want a child to be wise, these are the ways to achieve it: you must teach them by reproofs and by the rod.
This assumes first, however, that children are fallen creatures and tend to sin (Ps. 51:5). Every time a child asserts himself in clear disobedience to his parents, he proves again this basic truth. Thus, a parent reminds his child every day of the laws of God that he fails to observe (Deut. 6:7) and encourages him to trust in God as the true and only Savior from the slavery of his sins (Ex. 20:1, Deut. 32:4, 15). Children must learn to honor their parents, but babies and toddlers do not find this command convenient to their desires and nature. It is up to parents to teach this important commandment by constant, patient, and insistent reminder and reproof. Lives fall apart, cultures break down, and families disintegrate when children do not honor their parents. After all, this is the “first commandment with promise” (Eph. 6:1–2).
The Bible does not provide a long list of specifications governing the use of these two implements, the rod and reproof, but it does say that they are both indispensable for the training of a child. Some will discourage a parent from using the rod before the child is two years of age. Others will discourage the use of it after twelve or fourteen years of age. The Bible doesn’t specify. Ultimately, it must be both love and wisdom that determines when a child is corrected, how often he is spanked, and the intensity of the correction.
The modern world tells us that they have a better plan for raising children than these “archaic” rules from the Old Testament! Recently, a family from Sweden was fined $50,000 after the Christian school in the area turned them in for spanking their child. The enlightened humanists of the present age have replaced the rod with what is known as “Time Out!” It is a time when a child can reflect on his behavior and access his rational self in order that he might make wiser decisions in the future. Search as you may, you will not find this method among the biblically-prescribed forms of discipline. Actually, a child left to himself will bring his mother to shame.
Parents may find it supremely inconvenient to correct a child. There may be far more interesting and enjoyable things to do in life. Naturally, it would be easier to let the child have what he wants and leave him to electronic media all day long. But this is a recipe for disaster! The parent must instruct the child in wisdom by way of the rod and reproof. Long years of neglect in this area will yield a child that brings his mother to shame.
For related commentary, reference Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, and 23:13–14.
1. Do parents enjoy correcting their children, or is it easier to give them what they want and let them entertain themselves all day long?
2. Are there other forms of discipline that we should use besides the rod and reproof? Would it be wrong to withhold privileges or require extra arduous tasks as a means of correction, for example? At what point do we replace God’s methods with our own?